I am hopeful and optimistic because I believe in my story...it is the most important story of my life. Everytime I tell a small piece of my story, my audience clamors for more details. The book tells all. I also think that, thanks to ebooks, the days of getting lucky and having someone actually read my manuscript are over. I think I can do this on my own...then again maybe I am being naïve.
I am very hopeful that I will publish my memoir and people will buy it and read it...my ten year old does not share my optimism. She heard me mention publishing yesterday and replied (or rather butted in), "Mom, you know if you don't have a good agent they are just going to throw your manuscript on a pile. Someone might pick it up and look at it if they have some extra time." Thanks for the vote of confidence Camryn.
I am hopeful and optimistic because I believe in my story...it is the most important story of my life. Everytime I tell a small piece of my story, my audience clamors for more details. The book tells all. I also think that, thanks to ebooks, the days of getting lucky and having someone actually read my manuscript are over. I think I can do this on my own...then again maybe I am being naïve.
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I got the call at 5:30 this morning -no school! While I love my students I love my own kids more (not to mention the chance to sleep in a little bit). I do have to admit, as much as I love all the snow-days -which I know we will make up in the summer, :( I am so tired of this winter! I try to stay positive, but I keep finding myself complaining about the snow, the wind, the lack of sun and the COLD. My husband keeps reminding me that I am the one that has been convincing him for the past ten years that the winter is beautiful and that it helps us appreciate the wonderful summer that will come in a few months. He has a point. When he came to Michigan ten years ago he had never before seen snow. He worked on my family's dairy farm in the elements every day. I did not tolerate complaining about it. I talked it up, I showed him all the fun activities that can be done in the snow, and I reminded him that it is really only two months of intense winter...just 1/6th of the whole year.
Now he is convincing me, except I no longer believe what I once did about winter. Don't get me wrong, I still love to sled, ski, and ice skate. The problem is the wind chill has been below zero almost every day since November! That means we have not had two months of intense winter, but four months of SUPER intense winter and there is not yet an end in sight! My students hardly ever go out for recess anymore, which means I cannot get work done in my room during my lunch break. No one sees the sun anymore, which means we are all pale and grumpy. My two year old, Malekai summed it up best today -"I just want the snow to move over so I can see the grass again." Me too Malekai. Ok, now that my rant is over, I will focus on the positive. I have another snow day, which means another day to work on my writing. I finally got my approval to publish with iBooks, but I'm not sure if that is what I want to do. I think I will try it with some of my children's books and continue looking at options for my memoir, which is my real baby -literally it is my life's work. My other issue right now (I think it's a good one) is that I don't know what to work on. Should I finish my Jr. novel? Edit my memoir one more time or write more children's books? The children's books are the quickest and easiest. The Jr. novel is the closest to being finished, and the memoir is my passion....What would you do? Who knew it would be so much hard work to become an author?! I thought the hard part would be writing the books (it's not easy.) Now I am ready to take the next step and let others read my work, but I don't know how to get it to them. I was planning on publishing through iBooks, but I'm not sure that I want to only publish through them, as not everyone has a device that supports iBooks. Next I googled some of the better known e-publishers (Smashwords and BookBaby) and found mixed reviews. Next I looked at Kindle and Nook publishers....my head is spinning! I feel like I am spending so much time investigating the publishing process that I am not dedicating enough time to improve my writing. My fear was that I would publish and no one would read it or they would make fun of it. I now have new fears -1.)I will never actually publish, 2.)I will publish using the wrong platform and no one will ever read it. Why don't I just happen to know a world renowned publisher who happened to fall in love with my work. I guess that would be too easy. So, for tonight this is all I will write, I need to get busy finding a publisher.
I had a great weekend (well, after Malekai was done puking all over his freshly washed bedding). We took the kids to an air museum and then vegged out at a hotel pool and watched movies on cable (which we don't have at home) until late into the night. No one fought, no one whined, no one begged...it was so easy and fun!
Today we just laid around reading books until our stomachs reminded us that we needed to go down and enjoy some continental breakfast. We went back to the room to enjoy some more cable TV and then did some shopping and went out for lunch. It was perfect! But, now I am at the worst part of my week -Sunday night! I am stuck between relaxation and the fast paced life of full time working mom. I am thinking of all that I should have done this weekend and trying to put it off ten more minutes. I am thinking about the work that is ahead of me, and all I can do is count down until next weekend, but the week has not started. I do not want to sound like I am complaining, because I actually do like my job once I am at it...I just like living my home life even more and the transition from one to the other is hard. I wish I could have a life that combines work and home. If my writing journey pans out I think I can have it. I imagine writing while the kids are playing, working on my website and blog while they are in bed at night and putting my work down when they need me most. Maybe it is a lofty dream, maybe it is within reach. I don't know if I will ever be able to make it come true, but at least I can try! By the way, as far as my writing goes, I have several pieces that should be available soon, several others that I am almost done writing, and even more waiting in my head. :) The first step in a journey is always the most difficult. To some it may not seem that I am on a journey, but others will totally get it. I don't dislike my job and I love my role as wife and mom, but I want something more, maybe not more, different...I think this is it. I want the writerly life. I want to express what I think and feel for the whole world to read (well, I kind of wish I could pick and choose who actually reads it). I want to know that other people are reading my work. Well, I think I want that, but it is scary. What if no one reads my stuff? Worse, what if people read it and they DON'T like it! What if people make jokes about it? Today is not really the first step. It really started about 22 years ago, when I was eight. I sat on the deck in the warm summer sun and wrote a story about a girl who discovered an abandoned baby. I was sure that it would turn into a best seller and I would set a record for the youngest best seller in history...and then I never finished it. I stopped writing with my foot in mid-air of that first step. I went on to write many partial stories and poems over my lifetime (I only finished the ones that happened to be school assignments or that I was writing as model texts for my students). Then ten years ago I had a really life changing event (chronicled in my first memoir, coming soon), and decided I needed to write a book about it, thus picking up my foot to continue my first step. That was ten years ago and I have yet to put my foot down again. A year ago I finished the first draft of my first memoir...I am almost done editing and ready to publish -which I really don't know how to do, but I am going to try it anyway. This past Tuesday I had an unexpended day off -a snow day. I finally put my foot down. I wrote a list of books I want to write. I told my husband "I am going to be an author!" He smiled and said "That is great!" He even got excited about it too and wants to illustrate for me. Tuesday was different, I did not just say I was going to be an author, I actually wrote a whole book! And I didn't stop! I applied for a tax number so I can actually sell books. And I didn't stop! I signed up for an iBooks account so I can publish e-books. And then I ran out of snow day and had to stop. For two days, eight hours of teaching followed by three hours of parent-teacher conferences put an end to my journey. But then this morning I heard a teacher's favorite sound -the phone ringing at 4:00 in the morning. Another snow day! So today I took step two. I created this website and I am writing my first ever blog. Maybe no one will read my blog or my books. Maybe they will and they won't like them. Maybe people will make fun of me, but I don't care because I am on a journey. I don't know where this journey will lead, but journey's without a destination are usually the most exciting. I hope you will come with me on this journey, but if you won't that is ok...I am already two steps in and I'm not going to stop now. Buenas noches desde mi casa a la tuya. |
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